The problem with love is that we want to wrap in a nice package and put a little bow on it and say, "There, that is love," only to find that for most of our lives we have no clue what love is and how to find it.
There is no problem with love, except the ones we create. We watch romantic movies with annoying and ridiculous scripts, written by people who are even more clueless about love than we are, and we think love is drama, break up and make up, and all those other unnecessary things in between.
But what is love after all? It's not grand gestures and continuous big moments. In the beginning of a new relationship, there are butterflies in your stomach, increased heart rates, the excitement, the bliss and the magic of a new found love. You literally feel as if you're walking on air. You're being wined and dined and taken to exciting places and introduce to new experiences. The world looks beautiful and rosy and perfect; and you're discovering new words for happiness and love that you didn't even know existed.
But as the relationship grows and you spend more time together, love changes into something deeper and more meaningful. As you discover that the person you love has flaws and an ugly side, just like you have, you begin to break each other's heart in little ways but because of love you stay because your heart has found the one who calms it.
And that's when the true test of love begins. When you discover that love is not just one thing. It's a million little thoughtful things that will build the relationship with love as its foundation. It's when he tells you that you've hurt him and you understand his pain, even though you think what you've done is not a big deal. It's him understanding when you've had a hard day and wanting to make it better for you. It's about wanting to do things that will make life better for each other, without sacrificing who you truly are.
Love is beautiful and sacred and it grounds you in ways you can never imagine. But you need to do it for you and no one else. Too often we fuss and stress about things that don't really matter but because we compare ourselves to others we get lost in nonsense and forget about the things that really matter.
True love is when you are happy and content doing the most mundane things that not too long ago you thought were boring as hell. But because you're with the one you love it makes that moment something special. I never thought I'd be happy just watching movies in bed and drinking cups of coffee. Finding love changes you in so many ways.
You see, there is no problem with love; all you have to do is to try and understand what love is to you, and to see that love is not just one thing; it's what light up your eyes, lighten your heart and make you smile when you remember that you are loved.
It's when you can't wait to get home because love has turned your home into a welcoming sanctuary because the one who puts the glow in your eyes is waiting there for you. When two people who love each other are together in the same space it changes the energy and home becomes a place of peace, harmony, happiness and joy.
It's about getting to know each other and giving one another glimpses into the dark spaces of your hearts, being vulnerable and afraid of showing how much you really love each other, but doing it any way.
In the end love is about being together in harmony and basking in the knowledge that you're loved, protected and safe; it's knowing that you heart is safe. It's knowing that you've found that one person you can not live without and what he does and says bring the joys of love to you.
It's knowing that in this moment everything feels right and perfect and being sure that you are with the right person at the right place and that you don't want to be anywhere else with anyone else. It's knowing that this moment was created for you to be with him
What are you looking for in a partner? What is important to you? These are the questions that will set you on the path of finding the love your life.
Love is not enough. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it is. Love needs to be sustained with respect, support, encouragement and unity. If someone loves you they won't hurt you for fun. They'll care about how their behaviour affects you. You will be their priority. You will matter to them.
Even if you love someone with your whole heart you still need to have boundaries, and work at it every single day. Nothing in life is a given, much less love. The more you love, the harder you'll have to work to sustain and improve the relationship. You have to nurture, build and protect at every opportunity.
The beauty of love is that you can create magic in the most ordinary and unexpected moments. Because of love you'll find beauty in the simplicity of love. You'll appreciate being alive and being able to spend it with the one you love.
I could write until eternity about what I think love is but you are the one who has to decide what love is to you, and if your idea of love is feeing your soul and putting your heart at rest. And does is make you happy? If it brings you pain, is it still love?
Only you can answer that.
In the end, love is many things that are brought to life by the person you love. It's what they do and how they treat you that will determine how you see love.
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